My Testimony: Seeing God in Every Step of My Journey - 6am Prayer
I want to take a moment to share my testimony, a powerful reminder of how I’ve seen God’s hand in my life despite the deep struggles I have faced. It’s a story of healing, revelation, and finding worth in the midst of overwhelming pain.
For 16 long years, I endured sexual abuse, a painful experience that made me feel unworthy and rejected. Growing up, I often sensed a lack of protection, as trauma followed me relentlessly. My childhood in Bulawayo with my mother was overshadowed by the haunting memories of abuse at the hands of those who were meant to protect me—the police. This led to an ocean of resentment and anger, feelings I bottled up and carried into adulthood.
Tragedy struck again when my boyfriend was stabbed to death, deepening my sense of despair. I faced an abortion that filled me with shame, and misbehavior in school left me convinced that I wasn't good enough for anything. The oppressive burden of feeling unworthy to be loved clouded my heart—feelings I believed stemmed solely from my experiences.
From 2002 to 2023, I struggled with binge eating as a means of seeking comfort, trying to hide from the pain. My journey through immigration was fraught with chaos and more abuse, as I dealt with fake indefinite leave to remain stamps and the fear that came with border force raids. I was arrested, and I became the subject of a local newspaper article that brought shame not only upon myself but also upon my husband.
Living with a tarnished criminal record made finding work nearly impossible, fueling my insecurities and fears. I spent years in a cycle of depression, unable to support my family or even send money to my mother. Prayer became my refuge in the midst of despair. The past was a relentless tormentor, and I often found myself reliving painful memories.
However, amid the darkness, God began to reveal His love for me in profound ways. In 2014, I decided to study despite my difficult background and the stigma attached to my DBS record. I found a small circle of support, a sisterhood that lifted me up when I felt unseen and antisocial. Through journaling gratitude, I cultivated a practice that helped me change my perspective, slowly realizing how God was working in my life.
When I was offered a position on the Bishops Council, it felt like God was affirming my worth and purpose. I graduated with a first-class degree, a milestone I had once thought was impossible. Yet, even in moments of celebration, I struggled to share my joy, still feeling weighed down by past shame.
But God wasn’t finished with me yet. He revealed just how much I am loved, placing people around me who encouraged and believed in my potential. I found a new role in HR, where I was able to pray and advocate for others facing challenges of their own.
From living under the burden of a falsified status to becoming the Chair of Governors at my son’s school, I have witnessed transformation that only God could orchestrate. What I once viewed only through the lens of shame has now become a testimony of resilience and redemption.
Today, I stand firm in the truth that I am worthy, I am good enough, and it is time for me to arise and shine. God has filled my life with opportunities and a supportive community that has helped me see my inherent value. His love has broken down the barriers of shame, allowing me to embrace the fullness of who I am.
I am a testament to the fact that no matter how dire your circumstances may seem, God is always present, revealing the beauty of His grace in every moment. I encourage anyone who feels lost or unworthy to seek God’s presence and remember that you are deeply loved. It’s time to embrace your worth and rise above the struggles, for you are not alone.
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